Friday, March 24, 2006

Ribs of the Wreck

Ribs of the Wreck

Ribs of the Wreck (2002)

Yes, lovers of the poetic arts, it's unfortunately time again for that vivisection of verse and parody of prosody I like to call Freeper Poetry.

This poetic mutilation occurs when I take a selected freeper-laced text, cut and paste it into a virtual cut-up machine, click the bells and whistles in a random frenzy, and, presto, out comes a collaged found text that cuts through the verbiage and catapulted propaganda to expose what said freeper really said and meant.

And, in a special appearance, today's guest poet is none other than our Freeper-in-Chief -- Prezdent George W. Bush. Today's poem "Ribs of the Wreck," was deconstructed and reconstructed from his answer to a question posed by veteran journalist Helen Thomas at last Monday's presidential press conference.

Ms. Thomas, whom the prezdent hasn't recognized in a press conference and called on for over three years, asked the following:

I'd like to ask you, Mr. President, your decision to invade Iraq has caused the deaths of thousands of Americans and Iraqis, wounds of Americans and Iraqis for a lifetime. Every reason given, publicly at least, has turned out not to be true. My question is, why did you really want to go to war? From the moment you stepped into the White House, from your Cabinet -- your Cabinet officers, intelligence people, and so forth -- what was your real reason? You have said it wasn't oil -- quest for oil, it hasn't been Israel, or anything else. What was it?

And here, transmogrified through the magic decoder ring mystery of freeper poetry, is the reconstituted poetic text of what the Codpiece in Chief really replied:

Helen. Look. That's a flat plot.
Saddam September 11th. Excuse me?

Excuse why I did what they disclosed
I did and deny. This lifelong life is a war

haven I never planned. Forget we
were wrong and I trained to destroy

what oceans provided. So everything
previous I changed and killed. For sure.

Excuse me.  I wanted war for a second...

Today's Muse


Friday Random Music Shuffle:

1. "Cool Water" -- Laura Viers
2. "Draft Morning" -- The Byrds
3. "Slang King 2" -- The Fall
4. "A Night in Tunisia (Afternoon Take) -- Sonny Rollins
5. "The Mess We're In" -- PJ Harvey
6. "Money" --Laura Nyro
7. "Chrome Injury" -- The Church
8. "With You There to Help Me (Live at Carnegie Hall)" -- Jethro Tull
9. "A Man Called Curse" -- Treble Spankers
10. "Flood" -- Social Unrest

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