Thursday, April 06, 2006

The Passion of Bart Simpson

The Passion of Bart Simpson

The Passion of Bart Simpson (2004)

Dear God. We paid for all this stuff ourselves, so thanks for nothing.
--Bart Simpson

Move over, and don't have a sacred cow, Mel Gibson.

From The Simpsons Archive -- "The Gospel of Homer":

"This is a family where God has a place at the table now and again," he [Robert Thompson, Professor of Film and Television at Syracuse University] said, running through a surprisingly long list of episodes that deal with faith.

There was the episode on Easter where the Simpsons remake the Old Testament. Or the classic where Bart prays to God to save him from a failing grade (and then has the graciousness to thank him for the subsequent D-minus.) Or the time Bart and Lisa try to persuade a rabbi to reconcile with his son, Krusty the Clown.

One of Thompson's favorites came when Bart was grounded and, while sulking in his room, was confronted by a heavenly visitor.

"I like to think that Bart Simpson is in line with Abraham and Moses in that he talks to God directly himself," said the professor.

And from Bart's sermon from Springfield's grassy knoll:

Come on, Milhouse, there's no such as a soul! It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the Boogie Man or Michael Jackson.

And, as a long "retired" Catholic, this exchange has a cathartic, cherubic quality:

Bart: I'm starving. Mom, can we go Catholic so we can get communion wafers and booze?

Marge: No, no one is going Catholic. Three children is enough, thank you.

"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of Christmas?  You know, the birth of Santa."

Well, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't.

[Image from the comic -box]

And in order to generate that feel the Tom Cruise-genuflecting-on-the-couch burn -- from Scientologists in the News:

An internationally syndicated article by the Washington Post, reported on Nancy Cartwright, the voice of the famous Cartoon character Bart Simpson and co-host of the Church of Scientology's 40th anniversary celebration at the National Press Club in Washington, D.C. In the article, Nancy explains how she became a Scientologist several years ago when she was looking for a committed relationship:

"In Hubbard's works, Cartwright encountered a passage on shedding pain and loss. ' I felt he was talking directly to me' said Cartwright, who said she has had her share of unrequited loves. 'I said to myself, I want to stop that feeling.'"

Aye carumba. Note to Matt Groening. Better bite your satirical tongue of fire. Why? This cartoon parable springs to mind:

We should blame the fruity little club for scrambling his brains...

Remember, children. Don't have mock a cow thetan.


Anonymous said...

The Gospel of Judas

I was asked by our Leader On High
To strategically leak classified information
And betray an agent from the CIA
To shame her husband for his disinformation

Here at Homeland Security we mice
Protect weak and innocent necks
By scouring the Internet to entice
Fourteen-year-old girls for sex

Our Lord and Master knows
When riding the political rough
Truth is what the media shows
So his best strategy is to bluff

cruelanimal said...

Nice poem. Glad to see you back.

This whole "gospel of Judas" thing requires some serious cultural rebooting. Are the 30 pieces of silver now considered a tax shelter -- like a donation to Oral Roberts? And doesn't Jesus Christ Superstar now need a sequel?

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