Why Fish Never Make Their Beds

Why Fish Never Make Their Beds (2000)

From Tillamook State Forests Interpretative Programs:

Did you know that salmon rot while they are still alive?

No, but thanks for sharing. Waiter -- I'll have the chipped beef on toast instead...

From The Pond Doc:

Fish are more lovable at feeding time -- especially when they eat from your hand. That's probably why most of us make the biggest mistake we can make -- feeding our loved ones too much! The more fish eat the more fish poop. The more fish poop the harder the filters have to work. Excessive food rots causing havoc with our filtration systems. These two factors can be the life or death of your pond!

I'll be more loveable, too, if you let me eat out of your hand. Just no tuna casserole, okay...?

From Badman's Tropical Fish Message Board on "Water Changes":

A tip to keep from sucking "fish poo water" into your mouth when siphoning.

Set up your bucket LOWER (of course) than your tank...

I learned this as a Homebrewer.

No, man, I don't have time to drop by for a beer tonight...

I use the fish-poop-sucking method with a one gallon bucket. Anyone see why I might prefer smaller changes?????!!!!!

You are going through some ch-ch-ch-changes...

From, yes, PoopReport.com:

Doniker -- 8.15.2001
This is why I don't swim in public pools or at public beaches...you might as well just jump into a giant toilet!!

melly -- 8.15.2001
I indeed learned a lesson...no more pooping in the ocean for me! I was so scared I would be found out and exposed as a sea-shitter! But hey, fish poop in the ocean so old paranoid Doniker is still right! The ocean is a giant toilet in a way.

You know, I don't feel like swimming. I think I'll just sit here on the sandbar under the beach umbrella and read...

From the DIS Discussion Forums:

We get off the “personal watercraft” and walk on the sandbar. The guide asks us what we think the sand is made of and tells us to scoop up a handful and sniff it. You know this is the part that he enjoys, its fish poop. Great, I have a handful of poop, I'm a mile and a half out, and I have to get on the dreaded jet ski again.

...or maybe I'll rent Jaws (again) and listen to the ocean from the environmental isolation of my condo balcony...

The World Is My Commode

[Photograph by Greg Ochocki]

And, finally, from FAQs on Loricariids, South and Central American Suckermouth Cats 2:

SHE'S POOPING! Sorry to shout, I never thought a fish pooping would make me happy *grin* but it does. I have a feeling she hasn't pooped in ages (hard to tell, but never found any 6" fish sized poop in the big community tank), it's good to see something finally happening. What is coming out looks pretty abnormal to me, LONG (up to 3") stringy clear things that catch on the plants and wave in the current like fine hairs, some rice-sized bright green/white pods, and some semi normal 1/2 inch long bumpy (not long smooth ropes like pleco poop) brown poos (all alternating; this morning she's back to the white stringy stuff). Sorry to be graphic, but I know that you can tell a lot of things by looking at a fish's waste.

I prefer scanning chicken entrails, myself. They are telling me that someone's hobby is becoming an obsession...

So, other than my usual routine Tuesday poop blogging, have we learned why fish never make their beds? You've heard the rationale from your kids, right? Why make my bed when I'm just going to mess it up again tonight? Well, imagine if you both ate and pooped in your bed -- and then you can begin to see why the bed making/unmaking philosophical thought problem can grow exponentially...

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The management of Blog with a View apologizes to all the many wannabe crusaders hoping to censor the Internets for the multiple references to "poop" in today's post. But, please, just bear in mind at no time did we mention the fact that fish also fornicate in their beds. Thank you.