The Wolfman

The Wolfman (1999)

I need a shave. The moon hurts.

From Amazon.com -- Robert Horton on The Wolf Man (1941):

Even a man who is pure in heart,
And says his prayers by night,
May become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms
And the autumn moon is bright.

If you haven't heard this piece of horror-movie doggerel before, you'll never forget it after seeing The Wolf Man for two reasons: it's a spooky piece of rhyme and nearly everybody in the picture recites it at one time or another. Set in a fog-bound studio-built Wales, The Wolf Man tells the doom-laden tale of Lawrence Talbot (Lon Chaney Jr.), who returns to the estate of his wealthy father (Claude Rains). (Yes, Chaney's American, but the movie explains this, awkwardly.) Bitten by a werewolf, Talbot suffers the classic fate of the victims of lycanthropy: at the full moon, he turns into a werewolf, a transformation ingeniously devised by makeup maestro Jack Pierce. Pierce was the man who turned Boris Karloff into the Frankenstein monster, and his werewolf makeup became equally famous, with its canine snout and bushy hairdo -- and, of course, seriously sharp dental work. The Wolf Man was a smash hit, giving Universal Pictures a new monster for their already crowded stable, and Chaney found himself following in the footsteps (or paw prints) of his father, who had essayed a monster or two in the silent era. This is a classy horror outing, with strong atmosphere and a thoughtful script by Curt Siodmak -- well, except for the stiff romantic bits between Chaney and Evelyn Ankers. It's also got Bela Lugosi (briefly) and Maria Ouspenskaya, the prunelike Russian actress who foretells doom like nobody's business.

Hey. What's he mean the romantic bits are "stiff"? When I asked Evelyn over, I was deep into my best Fabio impression. Check it out:

Prince called. He wants his pants back.
[Photograph seen on HairWeb]

Later, in full Patrick Bateman mode, I took Evelyn clubbing:

Anton LaVey called. He wants his necklace back.
[Photograph seen on CreepingEvil]

We ended the night with a dreamy walk through the bog:

Farmer Brown called. He wants his overalls back.
[Photograph from Model Museum]

Well, yeah, I admit the evening aged Evelyn a little. But, in the boggy moonlight, aaawoooooo. Do we look stiff to you?